Everything and Nothing

April 16, 2012

The idea of making art right now seems selfish, stupid, unfathomable.  Here’s why: I’m my mom’s primary caretaker and she was just diagnosed with an extremely lethal, fast-spreading form of lung cancer.  It isn’t curable, all you can do is prolong your life.  She’s been in the hospital for two weeks getting tested and tested and having almost five liters of fluid drained from her lungs and is coming home today after more draining and an IV implant but doing anything besides helping her out and fixing my own health issues so I can help her out more seems worse than evil.  I may never get to see my mother feel 100% well ever again, so everything right now is about trying to make that happen.  I also have some health problems that are non-lethal but painful and alarming and unexplained.

So we’ll see how things go and I have new projects in my head and on my desktop so I’ll get back to this eventually but I need to relearn how to write and make art without feeling guilty about it.  Maybe that will be soon, I don’t know.  Plus I’m exhausted from being at the hospital as much as possible for two weeks, helpless and underinformed.  I may post some music videos or links to music videos I’m making in the interim because that’s not work for me it’s for a friend who made a brilliant new album since the one I just linked to but I need to find out from him how he wants this new stuff released to the public.

In the meantime, even if you’ve only found this after a google search and have no idea who I am or what this site is about: take care of yourself.  You only have a limited amount of time on the planet so make the best of it and make good memories with your friends and loved ones and be kind to other people and take good care of yourself.


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