October 13, 2012

My mother passed away last Sunday.  I was with her the whole sudden decline.  I’m not in a state to write thoughtful blog posts but I am still making work and may post some soon as further exploration of the holiday lights images below, which was the last work of mine my mother saw and which she really liked.  Images soon and text eventually.


3 Responses to “Pause”

  1. mbuitron Says:

    Sorry to hear about your mom. You’ve posted bits about caretaking for her, so I know this is both an emotional time, a busy time, and a bit of a relief as well. Take care of yourself.

  2. Mitchel P Hansen Says:

    Hey bro,
    I’m not sure how I managed to stumble across your blog but I feel like it happened for a reason. First of all, I cannot express how sorry I am, I feel for you very much and I hope that you are doing as well as you can right now. No one knows how sad and how emotionally distraught you are but you…and no one can take that away from you. It’s good to have pain and suffering and specific memories of happy and sad moments running through your head, because that means that you’re allowing yourself to feel. Eventually the happy memories will slowly rise to the forefront of your thinking, I promise. People tell you a lot of things in this situation, and almost all of them are wrong. It isn’t going to get easier and your life won’t necessarily get better, but your connection with your mom will sprout in a brand new colorful and beautiful way.
    You don’t have to be religious to feel your mother’s presence…I promise that you will see, hear, smell, and dream things that are her. You can chalk it up to naturalistic occurrences if you want, but something will happen at some point…time and everything around you will stop, and you’ll smile, and laugh at how insane and undeniable her presence is. I don’t know if it has happened yet, but once it does you’ll be absolutely stunned and changed forever.
    My mom passed away recently, and very young as well. I also make art, music, and write as much as I can…and it is great to see that you are still trying (all you have to do is try) to keep some energy focused on your outlets. Take it from me…if you lose your outlets then you’ll end up turning to quick fixes and much more hazardous things to remedy the pain in your heart and mind. So keep on diving into different artistic dimensions. That’s so awesome that your mom got to see the last post that you have up…what is even more awesome is that your mom loved what you do, I cannot possibly imagine how comforting and angelic you were to her. Keep on keeping on man, and if you ever want to talk, exchange art/music, work on something or anything please please please feel free to contact me. Remember…
    We don’t know what happens when we leave this world, but the wonderful thing is that we all get the chance to find out.
    Much love

  3. Stephanie Says:

    Dear Nicholas,

    I was just art surfing and found your blog. I have no great words of wisdom, I just wanted to say that I am sorry for your pain. My mom passed last year and I know you are hurting. It will change, I promise. Sent with love-


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